Always
by QueenAnneMagic
Summary: Completely AU. What if Snape had been brave before telling the prophecy to Voldemort instead of after? Short story.


_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. J.K Rowling owns all the rest.**_

_**A little piece of advise try reading this while listening to "The prince's Tale" by The Butterbeer Experience. (Really low volume though.) And please review.**_

* * *

Lily sat in her living room. Midnight was fast approaching and James hadn't returned home yet. Lily was worried, very worried. Harry had fallen asleep hours ago but she couldn't sleep unless she knew that James was home safely.

Suddenly, the door flew open and her husband entered, wind swept and grim faced. She bounded towards him, stripped him of his soaking coat and placing a kiss on his lips.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked him, seeing he didn't return her kiss.

"Lily, I need to tell you something." He looked slightly scared.

Lily frowned at him, trying not to expect the worst. She couldn't not though.

"Remus?" she asked. "Sirius? Peter? Dorcas? Who is it?

"None of them, Lily. Please, calm down." And he led her back into the living room and they both sat down.

"Who's dead?" Lily demanded again.

James just looked at her, hesitating.

"James! Who's dead?

"Snape." He said, almost in a whisper.

She stared at him, not sure what to do. True, she hadn't talked to Severus for years, not since he called her a mudblood and joined Voldermort, but there was still a spot in her heart for him. He had been her friend for half of her life, how could she not somehow still care for him.

"How?" she uttered finally. She wanted desperately to cry, but the tears wouldn't come.

"We don't know yet. It's very mysterious circumstances." James hesitated. "It, he swallowed as Lily looked up at him expectantly. "It looks like suicide but we're not quite sure.

Lily gasped. Severus, suicide? It didn't seem possible. Why would he kill himself?

_Why would he call you mudblood? Why would he turn into a Deatheater? _An annoying little voice said in her head but she shoved it away.

"Lily?" James hesitated again.

"Mmm?" she wasn't capable of saying anything more sophisticated.

"He, he left something for you_" _

"He has?"

James nodded.

"What is it?" Lily asked her eyes wide.

"It's in his house. I wasn't aloud to take it with me."

"Let's go then!" Lily exclaimed, getting to her feet and pulling James up after her.

"What about Harry?" James asked.

Lily stopped, looked around, as if looking for an answer and then walked towards the fireplace. She dropped some floo powder in the blazing fire and put her head in.

"Remus?

James could hear her voice muffled through the flames.

"Could you please come for a little to look after Harry. James and I have to go somewhere."

A pause and then "Thanks" and Remus Lupin came through the fire.

"What's going on?" he asked James but Lily stopped James from answering.

"We'll tell you later, Rem." She said apologetically. "We've just got to go."

Remus nodded. "Keep safe." He called after them as they exited the house.

Outside, in the cold night air, they passed the apparating barrier and apparated to Snapes' house.

The house was guarded by aurors and healers.

Mad eye Moody nodded at James as they approached him.

"We're going in, Mad eye." James told him. "We'll keep safe."

It seemed as if they had already talked of this.

James guided Lily in through the door. Lily was silent, afraid of what she might see.

They entered the room. It was tidy and dreary and almost chocking in its stiffness. Hand in hand Lily and James walked forwards. At the end of the room was a work table filled with flasks, books and potion ingredients.

"This is it." James told her, indicating at the table. "It would have been searched before if I had not asked for it to be kept that way. For you, my Lilyflower.

Lily smiled up at him, shakily.

She walked forwards further. On the table, right in the middle, was Severus's old potions book and above it an envelope, labeled _Lily Evans._

Lily almost rolled her eyes at her old friend's persistence to call her by her maiden name.

She opened the envelope with shaking fingers and opened the letter. In there, in Severus's tidy, neat, although, here, slightly shaky handwriting, was written;

_Dearest Lily,_

_I couldn't stand the thought of dying without ever seeing you again._

_Open the book, that is my last wish._

_Severus._

"Don't" James told her, he had apparently been reading over her shoulder.

"I must, it was his dying wish. I must." Lily answered. She could feel her eyes burning, but the tears still wouldn't come.

With trembling fingers she opened the potions book. She flicked through its pages, knowing exactly where to go.

Cheering Potion her favourite.

For a second nothing happened but then a silvery vapour came out of the books' worn pages. She dropped the book on the floor in alarm and backed away.

"Ah!" Lily drew a sharp breath as the ghostlike figure formed in front of her. "Severus?" she whispered faintly, her hand raising to her mouth, which now hung slightly open, tears prickling in her eyes, as James warped his arms around her protectively, drawing her back a little.

"What is he doing here?" asked the figure, almost sneering like his usual self.

"James, please leave us alone." Lily said hoarsely, not taking her eyes of her old friend.

"No. Lily, no. It's a horcrux, I can't leave you here with…" James said determinedly.

"James." She said again, but when she felt him about to protest again she twisted her head towards him and looked him in the eyes. "James. Go!" there was so much fire in her eyes that James had to give in.

"I'll be right outside the door, if you need anything…" he started. She nodded curtly. He leaned a little closer in attempt to kiss her head lightly, but she moved her head slightly away when noticing this. James, offended and quite concerned walked towards the door, took one last look at his wife and went outside.

Lily's attention stayed on Snape the whole time.

"Severus, why? Why, Sev?" She said finally, tears now sliding down her cheeks and her voice shaking.

"I found out something I want no other being to know. This was the only way to prevent it from happening." His voice was stiff but somewhat soft at the same time.

"Who did you kill to form the horcrux?" Lily asked, her voice breaking towards the end.

"Myself."

"Is that… is that even possible."

He nodded at himself. She nodded back. Their eyes fixed on each others' and mutual understanding went through them.

"Lily." He seemed to find pleasure in the very uttering of her name. "Lily, there is a flask of basilisk poison in my top drawer, when I give you a sign, you must destroy this horcrux, destroy me. Otherwise, I have no idea what it can do."

"No, Sev, no, I can't do it."

"You can, you can Lily, you are so brave, so very brave."

She shook her head but still, with trembling fingers, she took out the flask and uncorked it carefully, knowing that any drop on her skin would be the end of her.

"Sev, I can't, I can't, I'm sorry" she made motion towards closing the flask again.

"Lily, you can. I believe in you." Tears were streaming down his cheeks as well. He paused as she hesitated. "I love you, Lily."

Her eyes widened. "All this time?" she was now crying hard, but did not rip her eyes off his own.

He swallowed. "Always." His voice cracked, and he nodded at her to do it.

In a split second of determination, she threw the flask at him. Severus Snape's splitting scream pierced the night, along with the shattering flask and Lily's frantic sobs.

James run in at the sounds and found her kneeling on the floor, crying, in front of the open, smoking potions book. He sat besides her and hugged her close, as she sobbed into his chest.

Why didn't she see it; Sev was there all that time.

Always.


End file.
